"Burglar Bill" and other old tales of Radford

Another funny tale from my passed. As we lived in an old cottage the stop cock was communal so if we or anyone wishing to do repairs on their supply water system the main stop cock had to be tuned off. (this covered about 10 houses) . My dad and most of the other residents would pick a convenient time to carry out any repairs required. My dad used to pick Sunday afternoon to do his repairs his thought was that most of the Sunday cooking had been done and most people would be relaxing. My mission was to let the other residents know we would be turning of the Water at 2 pm so they could fill containers with water to tide them over the repair period. We did this on many occasions along with most of the other residents with no problem. One Saturday afternoon Dad was making a cup of tea or something, No water ? Nipped next door to see if they had the same problem! It transpired the the stop cock had been turned off? Once found Dad did not hesitate to return the water supply back ( he knew that someone was doing a repair but did not have the courtesy to tell all the residents as to his intentions). You can guess what happened next. Mr Baker came running out his house , soaking wet and shouting who turned the water back on. I and all the other residents were laughing to the point of tears, he shouted at my Dad , my Dad replied " next time tell us what you were doing so we could get a supply of water as back up" he then said " I am so sorry but we thought it was Kids playing around, never thought for one minute anyone was doing a tap repair" how he kept a strait face beats me. From what we were told , he had taken the tap to bits when the water came back on, up the walls soaked the carpets and worst of all his wife let him have it with both barrels, And she knew how to dish it out. We had a good laugh at that one .

There was never a dull moment at your place then R kid ?

Dreamtime, I have to say I was blessed with having a great childhood and the memories I savour it is giving me great pleasure in sharing them with you, I am on holiday just now and airtime is limited so I will chat more when I return. Regards, Colin.

Here's another scary tale for you, as promised. Just started work at the AEI ( former BTH) in lower Ford St, still into exploding things I decided to make a Cannon, I started with a brass rod which was bored out for me by a friend who had access to a lathe. I made a base out of wood and fitted some toy wheels when it was complete I took it home. The first test was real good, made a big bang and the ball bearing was never seen again. It was great. I was 15 years old and still a bit of an idiot which will explain what happened next. I mounted the Cannon facing the fence at the bottom of my garden ,the fence was made of wooden lathes mounted vertical on harris rail. " I wonder if I can blast an hole in the fence" I thought, and so I put a long Jetx fuse on the cannon so I would be well clear. What happened next begs belief. Just as I was about to fire the Cannon a little boy who was stood on a box of sorts looked over the fence right where the Cannon was pointing. I told him to go away and said " if you stay there you will have your head blown off " joking of course. He replied with " you cannot blow my head off" he would not move until he heard The Icecream man, he ran off shouting , "can I have an Icecream please mam " at this point I thought it safe to light the fuse. The fuse was lit and I stood back , the the kid returned to look over the fence again ," Oh No "I shouted , " move now! " I started to panic , I rushed to try and stop the fues but it was about to go off, Gulp. At that I heard a loud scream from the boy who had fallen off the box , and then "Bang" the cannon fired, all over in a flash so to speak the boy had ran off crying because he had hurt himself when he fell off the box. I looked up and nearly died when I saw what the Cannon had done, it did not go through the top of the fence but it took out a complete panel from the top of the upper Harris rail leaving a big hole , the wood had splinted into bits. It was then I realised how near I had been to injuring the boy and the Cannon was destroyed and got rid of , that was a close one. It's a wonder how I got through my childhood / teens. Colin.

They should have enlisted you in a Bomb Disposal Squad to teach you a lesson. I don't know what to say Colin. You must have been a menace to society. Did you have no fear at all in your youth ??????

I can say without fear of contradiction it was nothing to do with having no fear it was shear stupidity, have to say it did teach me a lesson but not before I had to have a visit to the Hospital for another incident which nearly blinded me. I had made a little explosive device which buried in the garden, it was detonated via an electric current, the device failed to detonate, I went to investigate after turning off the electric supply. It transpired that the switch was faulty and it did not switch off! After examining the spot where we had buried the device I could see nothing wrong so I pulled on the detonator wires in case they had not made contact, then it blew up in my face, I was rendered blind as a Bat all I could see was the red blast that had in printed on my eyes apart from that I could see nothing. My friend fetched me a flannel which un be known to him was full of soap, this did not help I was in agony , my sight started to recover but I was still in a lot of pain , my friend took me on a bus to Hospital to have my eyes checked, they washed my eyes etc. after my eyes had been checked and both wrapped in cotton wool, i was told that I was ok to go with no lasting damage. You see if you play with fire you will get burnt. Yes I was a bit of a menace , holding my hand up, the saving grace is that I did not turn out too be a bad bloke ,I think. Don't be too hard on me Dreamtime. Colin.

Mmm, OK then, I am anxious to know whatever you got up to next. Your poor Mum and Dad, what you must have put them through !

Just to prove that I was not always mischiefious . On my way home from School one day I spotted a wounded Pigeon, poor thing was sitting in the middle of the busy Engleton Road, I ran over to recover the Bird only to find It was bleeding from a chest wound( an air rifle pellet I think) anyway now I was stuck with what to do with the injured bird? I noticed a man sitting on a bench reading a book. He looked very learned by the way he was dressed, he wore a long gaberdine type raincoat and on his head he wore a wide rimmed Trilby hat. as I got closer to him he could see i needed help, I asked if he could advise me as what I could do to easy the Bird's suffering. After looking the Bird over he asked me if I knew where the nearest RSPCA Clinic was located, he did not know the city as he was visiting his Aunty in Radford. When I told him the nearest Clinic was in Ford street, Coventry. He offered to accompany me to the Clinic ( paying the Bus fare in both directions) scared me a bit , as we were told to beware of Strangers. As it turned out my fear was unfounded. We took the Bird to the Clinic and returned on the Bus to the point we had met, we swapped addresses and parted company. We wrote to each other on a regular basis, he told me in his first letter that he had telephoned the RSPCA later that day to find out if the Bird had made it, sadly it passed away. Having told my Mum about the incident she showed a bit of concern about the man' s intentions ( an early form of grooming, she thought) anyway as the years went by we continued to communicate with the odd letter but this diminished to Birthday cards and Christmas cards ( he was a very relegious man and all his cards reflected this) as the years passed it became the norn to get his Christmas card about a week before Christmas , Mum and later when i got Married my Wife would say, "it's here " signalling the start of the festivities . We kept in touch for fifty five years until his death last year and yes I was very upset as I am now, I have a lump in my throat as I write. He lived in Tunbridge Wells, Kent. His Name was Cecil Terry. We now have to start Christmas without him, what a real nice Man. So Dreamtime , not all bad. Colin.

What a lovely story R kid. I take everything back what I wrote before. You were probably a little imp then but I sense you have a good heart now. I envy you and your youthful adventures. I daresay you did not think then that you would be telling us all about your adventures now. I sincerely hope there are lots more to come. {:O} Edited by TonyS, 23rd Aug 2012 9:07 pm

Well Dreamtime you asked for it. It was about four days before Bonfire night my friend Bill Goode and myself were a bit bored, not having made a Guy so no money, no fireworks. We came up with a plan to make a make shift Guy, Me! Yes it was going to be me. We found a good location as we thought, on the corner of Radford road and Heathcote street on the forecourt of Wothingtons . We laid down an old mat to keep the cold off my backside, ( still remembering the old adage "if you sit on a cold floor you will get Piles") have to say it was cold and wet. I had an old pair of long trousers ,ripped and torn, round my body was wrapped in an old curtain tied with string. My face was no more than an old News paper wrapped round so you could not see my face and I then had a Guy Fawkes mask attached, the paper had holes so I could see and breath. Although I could not see myself Bill did say it looked real good, all I had to do now was to sit still, I could hear Bill saying " penny for the Guy please Mr " . All went well apart from me getting stiff and being cold.as the night wore on I became aware of being alone? Bill had been silent for quite a while now last I remember was seeing the heal of his shoes as he walked away, or did he run? I found out later he ran! Still un sure if he had returned I began to whisper his name "Bill, Bill, Bill are you there?" No reply , again I called "Bill Bill where are u " at this point I began to sense something was wrong , he had gone but why? I sat still wondering what had made Bill disappear , I was now getting worried. A slight turn of my head I could increase my field of view , I could just make out the tip of a boot and trouser legs with a sharp crease. Oh no I thought, its Plod, what do I do now ? The Copper must have been having a right laugh. He did not say a thing and did not move ,just stood there. Seemed like hours had gone by before I decided make a move ,( well one of us had to and I was flipping cold) so I began to un-wrap myself and looking up at the Pc he said " do you know it is against the the Law to beg? " I replied " no Mr umm Sir umm officer I did not know that" he said " what did your friend run off for? And why are you not at home? it's getting late and you should be in bed, where do you live? he asked" "just round the corner" I replied " come on then let's be having you I will need to see your parents they need to know what you have been up to" . I gave a Gulp and followed the Pc to my house. He knew what we were all about, just having fun Guying as he had most likely done in his younger days. So the door opened and my Dad stood in the door way " what the hell as he done now? " " I found him Guying Sir " " you never know what can happen, all alone and begging for money. (truth be known I was not alone until my so called mate had done a runner. We had words about that later. He saw the copper ,did not have time to tell me and ran, thanks Bill) " just make sure he is in by nine o clock " he said ,at that he bid us a good night and went on his way. No sooner we had shut the door when the Pc returned , ( now this bit did tickle me ) "Oh and by the way I almost forgot " he said "here is sixpence for the Guy and if I were you I would not tell your mate , Good night. " that made us laugh, he was a police man with tounge in cheek , an old time Copper with a sense of humour and I bet he had kids of his own. As for the Sixpence I kepted it and had the added pleasure of telling Bill how I got it. Not the first time he had fed me to the wolves, while I waited for him outside his house one night I climbed a tree. We were going to the flicks. A Copper came by and spotted me , called me down and gave me a thick ear, Bill walked by and said " you should not climb trees, told you before " Grrrr ( a clout round the ear was the norm in them days, not the done thing now ,it would be frowned upon. ) I missed the Film , I was told to go home ,tell my Mum what I had done and he would call on us later, needless to say he did not come ,I got a good telling off, missed the film. (it was a trick the Pcs used to use, you would have to tell your Mum so she would not go through the roof when the Copper called and of course they never did, but you could not take the chance) Just a thought it would appear that we celebrate Haloween now rather than Bonfire night, trick or treating not sure if that could be classed as begging? well that's it .Colin Edited by TonyS, 25th Aug 2012 8:39 am (Added a few blank lines)

Colin , your little contretempt with the policeman and summary justice from Dad has reminded me of my own brush with the law . When we were kids it was easy - and quite common - to make a bike out of spares found on waste ground and " bomb sites " . I made such a bike , it was a bit rough but it could be ridden with a lot of effort .There was a Sturmey Archer 3 gear system on the rear wheel but because there was no cable it was permanently stuck in high gear which made pedalling hard work .To make matters even more difficult the bike frame was too big for me so I had to sort of slide from side to side of the saddle to actually reach the pedals . My spoiled mate had a bran new Blue Streak with derailleuer gears which glided effortlessly along the road . We were going along Bell Green Road , me struggling to keep up with my " mate " , when we approached a Bobby coming in the opposite direction .The Bobby was riding a sit up and beg bike with his cape neatly folded over the handlebars .As we passed each other my so called mate called him a very naughty name and then pedalled off into the distance leaving me , who hadn't done or said a thing , frantically trying to raise a bit of steam up and get away . The Bobby wheeled round , easily caught me up and delivered a skull cracking smack to the back of my head .He said " Give that to your mate when you see him" .

I used to overcome the problem with Sturmey Archer gears, if we had a broken cable or indeed no cable at all like you,we would pull the chain out to select a lower gear and stick a pin through the chain to hold it in that position,this made things a lot easier.......

Nice one Walrus, I can relate to the subject of the make up bikes as kids and having no money it was the only way to get a Bike. Another thing we used to do was make Trollies using Pram Wheels, in those days some of them had full ball bearings, wow they were fast. Glad to see that I was not the only one to get a clout from the old time Coppers, rough justice ,it hurt and it made sure u did not get caught ( or should I have said " it made me tow the line, yea that's what I meant" ) A, can you imagine if a Copper hit you know , all hell to pay, I may get a negative response to this remark.... A good slap never hurt anyone ( lol talk about a paradox) what I am trying to say is we had total respect for the Police even though we were little buxxxxs . We also had respect for elders , none of this first name thing, it was always Mr or Mrs. Times have changed. Nice to see you relate to the erra Walrus. Colin. Ps it sounds lik you had a mate like me, loads the gun then you fire the bullet, lol.

Talking about Bikes ,Walrus reminded me of an incident that happened on my way to School , Barker Butts. We were allowed to ride to school on our bikes, but no riding in the play ground, on fear of death. So having made up a bike as described by Walrus (spare parts) I asked my Dad if I could use it for School, he checked it over , pointed out a few things that needed to be addressed. One being , no Saddle, "you cannot ride that bike without a Saddle". Alfter looking for a secondhand Saddle I managed to find one, slight problem though, the leather type covering was split and worn away in parts exposing the springs that ran from front to back. Dad took a look and said " well if you cover the springs it should be ok" so over the next few days I used it for school with no problems, until one day. ( this may bring tears to you eyes, i know It made me cry) going to school on morning full of the joys of spring ( not a goog choice of words as you will see later) the cloth covering the springs had fallen un be- known to me I had split my pants, I thought it was a bit drafty but could do nothing about it anyway. Going down the road I hit a very large hole has the bike plunged I came down hard on the open springs ( the springs being stretched by my body weight ) as I recover from the drop I was aware of parts of my anatomy be trapped in the spring. ( the spring had re-form into its closed state) I screamed and shouted but could do nothing as to release the trapped appendage meant compressing the spring and I had not got the weight to do this. Nearing the school I shot through the gates being shouted at by a Teacher " dismount that bike and see me later you idiot" I needed help big time. After scooting the bike i reached the bike shed and shouted for help, you can guess , half the flipin School turned up, and me trying to keep it dark. One of the Teachers realised my plight and began to try and extricate my appendage from the spring . It took the school dinner lady and the Teacher to apply enough weight to the saddle to open the spring, it took great skill and caring to perform the operation, and all the time I was shouting no no no stop! After a quick examination i was given the all clear and allowed to repair my pants and return to my Class. Did they take the Micky ? Yes of course they did . Took a while to ride that storm. And once I had told my Dad what had happened he got me a new saddle( as if , he took the bike off me and I was on foot again.) well until I could get another saddle. My Dad pulled no punches. Hope you had a laugh at my expense and I hope no one was offended by my terminology . Having said that if the Moderators think this posting is not appropriate then I will not be offended if you withdraw it. Colin. Ps before posting this I read it to my wife, she was in tears with laughter, I hope it has the same effect on the forum readers.

Yes, indeed R Kid It does seem funny now but I bet you were thinking you would never be the same again. Do you know, I reckon you and your mates must be known to the whole of the Warwickshire constabulary with all that you got up to !! Why it is not out in print on the bookshelves I will never know, but I must say it is all a pleasure to read. Do you think you have quietened down and mellowed over the years ?