Your first job in Coventry

OMG ! I don't know what to say about this one Colin. What an awful experience and that poor woman. That is something you/we would expect to see in the movies.

Oh Radford kid-you do have some very entertaining stories!

God's poor Orphans I spent 27years at GPO / PO/BT. The GPO. Days were by far the best, never worked for such a laid back Company (Civil Service) on my first day I was assigned to work with the Forman "Peter McMillan " what a nice man he was. Got to work at Mason road 08.15 sat with Peter until he had finished his paperwork , that took us Up to 09.30 then we set off to the nearest Cafe, (Tony's Cafe in Cross roads) at 10.30 we then carried on to our first job. 12.00 set off for lunch , returned at 2.30 working all afternoon until 4.00, set off for home. What a day that was. I thought I had gone to heaven , next day my boss meet us on the job to explain that I have to take 7days leave before April (I joined GPO in January) I could not believe it, i had found a job that suited me, joined one day and I could have had leave for the next 7days?it has to be said, it's no wonder that the general public had a poor opinion of the GPO . I loved my years on Bt so much so that when I retired the lads gave me a memento inscribed with the words " presented to Colin Walton in recognition of 27years spent in semi-retirement " . The most memorable times were at Christmas "all vehicles to be off the road by lunch time" was the order of the day when we broke up for Christmas break, ( the management issued this directive in order to prevent staff drinking and driving ) well don't drink and drive using a BT vehicle . First port of call before we broke up was Tony's Cafe for a full breakfast and to do the Christmas crossword once that task was completed it was off to town to do last min shopping and soak up the atmosphere, then so as to comply with our instruction Regarding getting the vehicles off the road by 12 pm. We returned to our HQ, signed off , then off to the local pub. We would settle in for the afternoon playing cards and getting lathered , we caused no trouble and had a real good time it has to be said I do miss that . So many funny episodes but one in particular has to be told. We were having a real good time at the Bell Inn , Bell green, it was almost chucking out time when one of our party needed to go to the bathroom ( the bathroom ? More like a tin shed) anyway he had been gone for a long time "Where is Frank?" someone asked, we looked at each other, someone said "who cares" we all finished our drinks and moved outside looking for Frank. All of us were now needing the loo, I with a couple of the lads went into the loo, as we were going about our business we became aware of someone making a noise that was not conducive with the normal noise expected to be heard from behind one of the toilet doors? It turned out to be Frank , once Frank had heard us talking he started to call us for help and making scraping noises, "what's the problem Frank" we shouted, "help me please help me " we pulled the door open but it felt heavy and stiff , well it would be with Frank hung on the back of it, yes poor ol Frank was hanging on the coat hooks We managed to un-hook him dust him down and help him outside, from what he told us it would appear that while he was going to the loo a big man came in next to him , he was very drunk and Frank must have said the wrong thing because he did no more than to grab him under his arm pits and lift him onto the coat hooks on the back of a toilet door He then walked out , it's funny because we passed him on the way in, poor ol Frank could reach the floor on his tip toes but could not lift himself enough to get free. "It's not funny "he said and after we had stopped laughing we agreed lol. The Micky take took a long time to subside, comments like " come on Frank stop hanging about" or "who you hanging about with now Frank?" or "did someone put you up to it? And so it went on. Fond memories. Colin

Thanks Anne I am glad you enjoy my exploits , it gives me a lot of pleasure to share, thanks. Colin

Yes dreamtime as you said "poor woman" not all my stories have an happy ending. Colin.

Colin that really made me lol Could just picture your mate dangling from that toilet door.

I was beginning to wonder where my daily laugh was going to come from. Thanks Colin. I am sure there are many more tales to come from your years at the GPO. - Please.

Mr Claus Following on from my previous exploit at GPO as through the years GPO changed it's name from GPO to PO and then BT. Not a lot changed as per the obvious running of the Company we were still given an inch but we took a yard, because the Company was run by the Civil service it was very Military ,this was very evident in the stores system, tools or clothing for instance . Boots walking IR=Wellington type boots made of India Rubber. To order a Screwdriver = screwdriver instrument no 1' or screwdriver cabinet 6inch . For my final years at BT I was put in charge of a PW (private wire) group working out of the Telephone Exchange in Little park Street. The Pw Group were responsible for the installation of direct links from one company to another and installing networking hubs, now superseded by the World Wide Web. But for us it was a great time, things did tighten up a bit, people were being caught in the local Cafe and so they became out of bounds. I managed to convince my Boss that if we moved our HQ to the Exchange we would be more efficient ( no Cafe calls) well he fell for it and we move to Leofric Telephone Exchange, Little Park Street we set up a new Workshop and we became known as the Playgroup, the day panned out like this, sign on at 0815, do paper work then get your days work from control, then up for breakfast in the Canteen , much cheaper than the Cafe, stayed their until about 10.00 then out for our first job, if the job was local then back for lunch at 12.00 until about 1.30 then back to work until about 4.30pm then back to the workshop or direct from the job to home, although the management could not see it we did save time. Not much time it has to be said. No matter the time of day you could always see one of us in the Canteen we used to have so much fun, playing tricks and generally mucking about, Hence the name"Playgroup " this went on for many years well until I took retirement 1992 then the Playgroup was disbanded and the Canteen closed down,well in could sustain its self without our support . Lol. To brighten things up in the workshop we used to have a real Christmas tree with lights an all, we also had a Fairy but we will not go into that lol. The tree was procured by one of the lads , he used to borrow a red and white stripped work tent from one of the outside jointer's this he would erect over a suitable sized Christmas tree that could been seen at the side of the road back then, he then proceed to chop it down and hide it in the back of his van, if we asked "where did you get it?" The reply was "don't ask" No matter what industry you work in you always seemed to have someone who would go that extra mile to please the Boss, in this case it was Frank ( the man who was hung on the toilet door) anyway the object on the last day of work at Christmas was make sure all you work was done the day before but Frank would love it if he was selected to do a last minute job, so on one occasion Christmas Eve I thought of a plan that would make his day and ours also, I had a word with AN Control ( advice note control) to send Frank a job to do late Christmas Eve afternoon. The advice read= Customer name... Mr S Claus, Location.... Contact G R otto , top floor Owen Owen . It went on to explain the fictitious job he had to do . We were in bits just thinking about the situation and as an added , bonus, because when he got the " AN " he ranted and raved so much the the boss said he would tag along to help him, well we could not believe our luck, what a catch. All over Christmas I could not think of anything else. More to the point would I still have a job when I returned after the Christmas break ? Well when we returned after Christmas, i asked them if the job was done ok, they claimed that they never went as they had spotted the ploy . But I rang the Switchboard operator at Owen Owen later that day and she confirmed that two engineers were asking to see Mr Claus, From what she said it was clear that they had been fooled when they ask the operator for the location of Mr Claus it dawned on them that they had been had and so they opted to not let on that they had been hoodwinked. Just a bit of fun. No harm done. And just in case you are wondering Dreamtime , yes more to come. Colin.

By far the best con (which back fired on me ) was the Strip a gram. In our group was a man called Paul Osborne, sadly no longer with us. He loved winding people up and if it involved me that was a bonus so with that in mind I decided to have a bit of payback. I got the lads together and hatched a plan to get Paul a gorilla a gram or fat lady a gram , the later being the best option. This was the plan I got one of the lads to mention to Paul if it would be a good idea to set me up as a target. He loved it, he could not wait to get the scam going, " I'll do it " Paul said, "it could not be better " I thought , and so the seed was sewed , Paul passed round the hat as a collection to pay for the scam, me being excluded as I was to be the target as mentioned, the twist was that it was going to be Paul as the target, "yesss " Quite ironic really, he was paying towards his own stitch up. Anyway as you can imagine news soon got round as to when and where it was going to take place, the location was set as the Canteen, Paul was so excited and told everyone, the door staff and security had given permission to allow the visitors to enter the Exchange. About 10.00 am that was the time it was set for, I took in my cam Camcorder to record the event but he would have twigged something was not right if he had seen me with cam so I had a friend to do the honours. "This was going to be great" I thought, but in the back of my mind I wondered if this was going to be a double double bluff? "did they tell him of my bluff to turn the table on Paul or were they going along with my plan? Only time would tell. One thing I was not aware of was the type of (a gram) had been changed just a few hours before, I had not been told of the change. So on the morning of the scam we all sat in our workshop, no sign of our boss? About 0945 we all decided to go for tea, I was trying to be as normal as I could, we got to the canteen to find it packed most of the customer facing engineers along with some of the top management, so as to keep in with me not knowing about the scam I told the lads to call off our cup of tea as we were open to scrutiny by the management. They all ignored me as I knew they would . So we if by magic found a table that was not in use? (all the tables were being used except for one, just enough for our staff) so I sat with my back to the door , Paul sat oppersite me but along the table. No one made a sound as the (a gram) came into the canteen so as not to give the game away. Paul's eyes lit up so I knew it was about to happen, I was looking forward to this , to see him getting stitched up was going to be sweet. But then I coped site of her, gulp , gee she was drop dead gorgeous dressed in a cape a Basque and stocking etc. she got behind Paul and then smothered him from behind , oh no what have I done? This can't be right? Trust me to get the short end of the stick, all you could hear was clapping and laughter , a custard pie was thrust into his face and all I could think was "wish it was me" She wiped off the cream then kissed him, it was then I began to cry, lol. How did I get it so wrong? He shouted across the table " thanks Col" I replied " it's ok mate I knew you would like that" I took a few photos one of the lads told me after, that the Strip a Gram people had a problem with the Fat lady , we never found out why. Well that taught him, he will not mess with me again. Lol.Colin ps forgot to mention, later that day Paul came up to me and said" A you, you did not put in the collection, pay up" no need to quote my reply, I would not be allowed to submit any more posts if I did.

Well Colin, I got nestled down for the night when I saw how much you had written, but me being me, I am inclined to ask about the 'Fairy' . Anyway it must be right what they say:- All work and no play makes Colin a dull boy. However, that can't be true from what you write. You must have been fun to work with, and I see you had to pay up in the end.

Hello again Dreamtime, as to the Fairy, we did have a Fairy on the top of the tree, we never bought any Tree decorations just used discarded items from home, I have to be very careful with regard to using the word "Fairy" although years ago the word "Fairy" could only mean one thing but in today's world you need to be politically correct as it can be misunderstood and may cause offence. You have to read between the lines. I cannot elaborate beyond this point. Nice to see you still enjoy my antics. And did you see the Santa Claus story? Best regards.Colin

Ha ha Colin-loved the Christmas Eve story. You would have been such a great person to work with! We used to have fun like that when I worked at Bedworth Hypermarket in the 70's. I worked on the checkouts and, obviously, we had to take our lunch breaks in about three time spans. We used to do things like going to the pub to celebrate somebody's birthday, who was on a different lunch break! At Christmas, we were told not to come back after breaks in an inebriated condition. I can remember about 6 of us, arm in arm, rolling back in after lunch a bit' worse for wear' straight into the arms of the store manager Luckily, he turned a blind eye on that occasion . There were sad things at Christmas. Everybody knew everybody in Bedworth, and we would have to serve drunk men on Christmas Eve who had spent their wages without a thought for the kids waiting at home But, the lovely side of human nature was on display as well I used to regularly serve some foster carers who always bought loads of groceries for the 'brood'. On Christmas Eve, they had come back esp. because they were, at the last minute, having a toddler on a temporary arrangement. They were buying toys and clothes for him-and they were really excited!

Yes, I have read your latest. You know you must not take the name Santa Claus in vain as a lot of little ones really believe in him. Bet you did too ! Soon be the 'silly season' again. Ooops should not of mentioned it yet it's too early. Anyway, we always have an angel on top of out tree not a fairy ! However, you certainly know how to have a good time.

Bet you miss the Christmas fun Anne. I know I miss the fun we used to have. At Christmas we would think up some sort of scam. For the last years at Bt the management allowed

Dreamtime I would never demean the Big man , it may surprise you to know I still believe in Santa, their was a time when I didn't believe during my teens when it was so uncool, but now i think he is the Man. I tell my Grandkids all about him. My Grand daughter loves my tales of Santa, as I may have said before I re-live the magic of Christmas ever year, I can still hear the bells on his sledge has he passes over my house every year.